Lu-Lu-Lu Lukas Podolski missed with his kick at a high ball -- well, he missed the one he intended to kick -- and caught Edin Dzeko square in the crotch during Cologne's 1-1 draw with Wolfsburg. Podolski was shown a yellow card for his reckless endangerment of Dzeko's reproductive capabilities. Dzeko did play on, but he probably talked with a comically high voice for several hours afterward. 1108 days
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